Americans have been brain-washed into believing that unless their lawn looks like Astroturf, they are second-class citizens. Thus they load their shopping carts with hundreds of pounds of pesticides, herbicides, fungicides, and other dangerous cancer-causing chemicals that they spread over their monoculture lawns.

After they have saturated their lawns with poisonous substances the grass turns a uniform shade of green and they become even more stupidly and arrogantly proud than when they had clear-cut their grandmothers legacy forest for money to buy a new Mercedes. The result is two-fold:

1. The local garden club and newspaper takes a photo and proclaims their sterile wasteland “YARD OF THE MONTH”. They are both envied and slobbered over by their equally ignorant peers at their weekly ‘service’ club and chamber of commerce meetings.

2. At the same time GREEN DEATH greets Mrs. Robin as she consumes a poisoned worm. GREEN DEATH greets Mr. Lizard as he consumes a poisoned insect. And last but not least GREEN DEATH comes a knocking at the crib of their infant daughter who was allowed to crawl over the beautifully poisoned lawn and put her fingers in her mouth. 

The parents cannot imagine how a beautiful tiny child could be dying from cancer. But just like the cigarettes makers who proclaimed the health benefits of smoking for decades, the manufacturers of the chemicals leading to GREEN DEATH proclaim the wonderful benefits of making their neighbors envious of their sterile ‘Killing Fields’ that they foolishly call a lawn.

Americans who genuinely care about our great country will boycott the poisonous products that bring the scourge of GREEN DEATH upon our land and they will work to outlaw monoculture lawns.

This patriotic message if brought to you by George H. Russell